Know the Signs: Understanding Power and Control

Domestic violence is not limited to physical or sexual violence. It often involves a pattern of behavior used to gain or maintain power and control in a relationship. The Power and Control Wheel, developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, MN, provides a helpful framework for understanding these patterns.

The wheel illustrates how different forms of abuse—including coercion and threats, intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, minimizing or denying, using children, using privilege, and economic abuse—can work together to maintain power and control. These behaviors often overlap and may happen alongside physical or sexual violence.

While no single tool can capture the full complexity of an abusive relationship, the Power and Control Wheel helps us recognize that abusive behaviors are often purposeful and connected, rather than random or isolated incidents. For survivors, these patterns can limit their choices, create fear and make it more difficult to seek support or safely leave a relationship.

Understanding these patterns gives us a clearer lens for recognizing domestic violence and responding with greater awareness and support.

What Can Power and Control Look Like?

Coercion and threats may include threats to hurt a partner, children, pets, or themselves; threats to share private information; or threats to use systems such as child protection against a partner.

Intimidation can include threatening looks or gestures, displaying weapons, damaging property, or stalking. Sometimes an action that seems harmless to an outsider can carry a very different meaning for someone experiencing abuse.

Emotional abuse can include name-calling, constant criticism, humiliation, the silent treatment, or telling someone they are “crazy,” worthless, or a bad parent.

Isolation can involve controlling who someone sees, where they go, or what they do. Technology can also be used to monitor and isolate through location tracking, phones, social media, smart devices, or vehicle technology.

Minimizing, denying, and blaming can make survivors question what happened. An abusive partner may say, “I was just kidding,” “That never happened,” or “You made me do it.” Gaslighting can further undermine someone's trust in their own experiences.

Using children can include threats about custody, using visitation to maintain control, telling children that the abuse is their parent's fault, or using reproductive coercion to control pregnancy and birth control decisions.

Using privilege can involve using social, financial, gender, disability, cultural, or other forms of power to control a partner or make them less likely to be believed or supported.

Economic abuse can include controlling money, preventing someone from working, creating debt, taking benefits, controlling financial information, or damaging credit. Someone may appear financially secure from the outside while having little or no control over money in their own household.

Listen, Believe & Support

Understanding power and control helps us recognize the patterns of domestic violence that may not always be visible. When someone reaches out, we can listen without judgment, believe them, respect their choices and help connect them with support.

There is no single path to safety. Survivors know their situations best, and our role is to support, not pressure them.

Support is available 24/7 through Sojourner: 952-933-7422.